Once he’s gazed upon her, a man is forever changed
– Lord Huron
The bravest men return with darkened hearts and phantom pain
Ages come and go but her life goes on the same
She lives to see the sun and feel the wind and drink the rain.
Christian couldn’t have imagined a less likely series of events to have played out that winter in Queensland. So many things had to go just right at exactly the right time for everything to have worked out the way it did.
He’d been an infantry officer for five years and in the Army reserves for eight by the time he went to the Land Warfare Centre in Queensland in the winter of 1997. Queensland winters weren’t renowned for their skiing. The worst he could expect was an overnight temperature of 10° C. If he was really unlucky, then he might see his breath one morning. Not quite the same as the sub-zero Canberra winter mornings that he was used to.
The camp was supposed to be an entire Rifle company-about 100 men-deployed to the LWC on operational exercise. The company comprised soldiers from various corps in the Brigade, including three women, which was rare for a rifle company. They assigned none of the women to Christian’s platoon. So he rarely spoke to with any of them until the end of the camp.
As he also was their superior, Christian didn’t look at them as anything more than soldiers to train and command. However, his counterpart, Scott Highman, had different ideas.
“Did you see the little blonde student in my platoon?” Scott said.
“No,” Christian replied. “They’ve always got hats on. Which one do you mean?”
“Pte Benaud! She’s so cute!”
“Okay, what about her?”
“Man, I am so having a slice of that before we leave. Just you watch!”
Christian thought Scott was overly confident in his ability to charm women. But as Christian had no interest in a hook-up, he really didn’t care what Scott got up to. They were both adults and could do whatever they like to each other. However, the company was at a regular army base and in those days; the army didn’t tolerate fraternisation of any kind. Fraternisation was a deliberately vague army concept that meant hands off.
Superficially, Pte Benaud appeared okay looking to Christian if a bit of a tomboy. And even though her short blonde hair was kind of his thing; her having to wear a hat and shapeless cams every day, often smothered in camouflage cream and covered dirt, did nothing to enhance her femininity. He never saw her smile, so there was nothing that piqued his interest.
But Christian would admit that Pte Benaud was also one of the best soldiers in the company. She was diligent and keen to learn; the perfect soldier. She gave the impression that no one would take her mind off her duty. That feeling was further borne out when, one by one, the company had to stand up one day and say something about themselves. Pte Benaud share that she was studying biology at university.
But as she walked away from the dais she said over her shoulder, “I also like blonde guys with big muscles!”
Christian took that at face value, but later wondered if someone had already hit on her, perhaps Scott, and she was trying to dissuade further suitors from cornering her.
Not that Christian was one of them. At the time the camp began, he had been with Beth for almost five years. They had met at officer training and, a few years later, also began working at the same office. She had been his first girlfriend, so it took a long time for him to realise that they did not suit each other. If either of them had been brave enough, they would have ended long ago. If he had had his wits about him, it probably never would have started. Their relationship had been falling apart for a long time before Christian went away to Queensland, caused by a thousand little things. Mid-camp, he rang home to say hello, and Beth told him she was leaving him. He was 1000 miles away and powerless to prevent it.
To make matters worse, by the time the first week of build-up training had ended, the company had had so many injuries that the two platoons had to be merged into one. Scott and Christian had to decide between them who would take command of the combined platoon in the field for the exercise. They tossed a coin, and Christian lost. Scott took the platoon, and they gave Christian pointless busy work for the rest of the week. So he had come all the way to Queensland and now there was no reason for him to have ever left home. If he’d stayed in Canberra, things might have been different with Beth. He then had an entire week where he had nothing to do except dwell on that realisation.
Once in the field, Christian spent all of his time in company HQ and had not much to do other than talk to the medic, Greg. Greg was the sort of guy who could talk under wet concrete and someone who would have made a successful used car salesman. Greg would also constantly ask personal questions that Christian tried to deflect. But after a few days of probing, one night he asked Christian about girlfriends. Needing to tell someone, Christian told Greg that he had, in fact, just broken up with Beth.
Greg couldn’t hold his tongue and blurted out, “I know someone who will be thrilled that you are single,” before he stopped.
Christian asked him what he meant, but Greg then swore that he had already said too much. Christian let it go because he wasn’t sure how honest Greg was, as he seemed to just like talking for the sake of it.
Eventually, the LWC staff had had enough of Christian sitting around in the dirt doing nothing. They grabbed him and the company Second-in-Command, Steve, and dragged them away from the company HQ. Loaded up with a radio, they got given a distant grid reference on their map and told to find it.
They told Christian he would have to do an escape and evasion exercise. Christian and Steve had two days to make it to some far way mountain and back. They were told that a crack infantry section would also be in hot pursuit. If they got caught, the section would strip away all their equipment, one piece at a time, until they were buck naked. The trainers gave them a quick lesson on evasion techniques, drove a short distance, and then dropped them off, giving them a 20-minute head start. But they had dropped them into a field of mud and, weighed down by all the extra kit, the pair could barely stand up as they sank ankle deep into the quagmire. The chances of anyone not finding their sunken footprints was zero. The crack infantry section would run them down in less than an hour.
Except, Christian no longer cared about the camp and didn’t believe for a moment that anyone would actually follow them. The aim had been to get them out of CHQ, and he wasn’t prepared to break an ankle trying to outrun a ghost or stumble through the jungle trying to locate a distant rock. He put this to Steve and whether he concurred with Christian’s assessment of the situation or not, Steve was more than happy to hide out in the bush for a few days. They would gradually sneak back to CHQ under cover of darkness and arrive back just before the appointed time. When they finally arrived back, the company commander asked Christian to guide the platoon back to camp after its operation. He rendezvoused with the platoon outside the perimeter and while Scott was briefing his section leaders for the final manoeuvre; Christian noticed that the medical corps corporal was looking straight past Scott and just staring at him. Not knowing what to make of it, Christian stared back. It seemed to go on forever–she just wouldn’t break his gaze. She wasn’t paying anything that Scott said the least attention. Unless Christian was mistaken, she was giving him the eye.
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